RELAX.RELATE.RELEASE

Whitley Gilbert was always wound tight. And as the world is quite literally crumbling, I’m resisting the urge to mimic her. My thoughts are swirling and sometimes, it’s hard to even take deep breaths.

Relax. Relate. Release.

Not as a cure-all. Not as a productivity hack. Just as small ways to stay connected to yourself when everything else feels loud.

Relax- Calm down your body and mind.

Take a bath. I usually pair this with a library book. I keep one fiction and one nonfiction on my ledge so I can grab whichever matches my mood. Sometime though, when the day’s been too much, I just lay in the tub and let my muscles relax.

Dance (in the dark). Parents, this one is a must when the kids are screaming. My daughter loves this one and its so easy to play off. You can dance anywhere! Even in the shower. And I know you’re already singing therez! So turn the lights off, turn the volume up, and release the stress from your hips.

Take it outside. You ned some fresh air. Get a garden. Go for a walk. Sit on your porch like your granny used to. To make it easier, keep a “grab-and-go” setup by the door—a bag with an old blanket, a couple nonperishable snacks, a book or whatever you need—so you can just step outside without overthinking it.

Relate — acknowledge and connect with your feelings

Journal. GET YOU A PHYSICAL JOURNAL. Please. Your eyes are already on screens all day. You need pen and paper in your hand. There’s something about physically writing your thoughts that helps your brain actually process them.

Cry. Baby… sometimes you’ve got to let it out. Happy cry, mad cry, grief cry, angry cry—just cry. So many of us were taught to hold our tears in and all that unprocessed emotion doesn’t disappear. It builds up, tensing the body.

Yell. Same category. a`Angela Bassett-in-the-closet energy. I usually wait until the house is empty (my dog has unfortunately learned to evacuate). But you’d be surprised what a good scream can release.

Vent to your girls. Not everything needs a solution. Sometimes you just need to go off about your boss, your partner, the economy, all of it. I will call 2 or 3 unrelated people about the same incident. Then, I move on.

Release — let go of what you can’t carry

Move your body. Throw around weights. Join the run club. Incorporate some yoga stretch before bed. When you’re still or seated for too long, your body locks up. (The Nike Training and Run apps are great for beginngers.)

Spirituality. You don’t have to subscribe to a specific religion, but you do need something bigger than yourself to hold onto. Ancestors. The universe. Nature. God. Energy. I don’t care what you call it—but without something, it’s easy to slip into hopelessness. And we need you here with us.

Fast (or subtract something to make space). You don’t have to do a buy a juice or delete all of your apps. But more important than what you give up, is what you add. Adding something grounding in its place heps you develop new habits. For me, that’s putting 90 minute social media limit. When it’s over I learn more about Hoodoo, complete puzzles, and sit with quiet meditation.

You’ll be tempted to pick everything.

Instead, treat this like a menu. One app, one entree, one dessert. And go from there.

LMK what you choose in the comments. And share other relax, relate, release methods below :)